Addiction

We believe Jewish prayers and rituals can help to strengthen our mental well-being, resilience and recovery in the same way middot, or Jewish values, can promote them. Faith is an important part of healing for many, and Jewish thinkers and leaders historically have brought the two together. When someone is ill or recovering from illness or an accident, we often recite a misheberach to wish them a refuah sheleimah, or a “full recovery.” We have expanded the prayer for those who are struggling with mental health.

Mi Sheberach for Mental Health:

May the One who blessed our ancestors and named us Israel bless and heal those among us who struggle with mental well-being. May they acknowledge their own strength and resilience, treat themselves with forgiveness and patience, and find help, compassion, and resources when they need them. And, may the Holy One grant those of us who aren’t experiencing mental health issues the strength, resilience and capacity to listen without judgment and with intention, and the ability to notice when others are struggling. May we create communities that accept, uplift, and support those among us who are struggling. Now, speedily, and in a time soon to come. Amen.

The Blue Dove Foundation with Association of Reform Jewish Educators

We are free, but we remember when we were slaves. We are whole, but we bring to mind those who are broken. The middle matzah is broken, but it is the larger part which is hidden. Because the future will be greater than the past, and tomorrow’s Passover nobler than yesterday’s exodus. The prospects for the dreamed future are overwhelming to the point of making us mute. So it is in silence, without blessing, that we break and hide the matzah and long for its recovery and our redemption. 

To the One who blessed our ancestors and the

One who blesses all beings here on this earth,

bless all those who are suffering the grief of someone they loved.

May they find solace in their memory,

and may their love find a resting place in their hearts.

Bless all those who are struggling with the death

of someone with whom they had a difficult relationship.

May they find compassion for themselves and renewal of spirit.

May they have patience and strength, as grief can come in waves throughout their lives.

May they find the courage to share their grief with others, no matter how many years have gone by.

While they can be shattered by loss, they can be healed by love from others.

Sacred One, help them find ways to open their hearts to love and hope.

Bless all those who are grieving, for it is an honor to have lived.

Make both life and death a blessing.

Amen.

A prayer by the Blue Dove Foundation

It is customary in the Jewish tradition to bless our children, and in the spirit of this ritual, we have created a prayer with these four children in mind.

Blessed are you, Holy Source of Wisdom, bless us so we may know, understand and accept our inner child. Guide us as we ask the questions to better understand ourselves and our world as we try to make sense of our emotions. Guide us as we try to find our place in a caring community, even when we resist those who want to help. Guide us to find the safe and brave spaces filled with people who can show us empathy. Guide us as we learn the language we need from those who model vulnerability. Blessed are you, Holy Source of Love, bless us so we may know, understand and accept the children among us. Help us to notice the message behind the questions others may ask, ensuring each person gets the help they need. Help us to create shame-free and stigma-free environments for each other, developing a culture of understanding. Help us to approach others with empathy so they can feel safe. Help us to offer support to those who may not know what they need. May we each approach our inner child with curiosity and insight. May we each be compassionate toward our inner child from moment to moment. And may we each learn what we need from the inner child of those around us. Amen.

By The Blue Dove Foundation

Researchers have begun to establish a causal link between storytelling and thriving. In 2001, psychologists Marshall Duke and Robyn Fvush compared children's psychological health with their knowledge of their own family history. They measured this knowledge on a "Do You Know?" scale. This scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children's emotional health and happiness.

The more children knew their family's history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successfully they believed their families functioned.

Two months after this study was conducted, the September 11 attacks occurred. The psychologists went back and studied how the same group of children responded to that trauma. The results were the same: "The ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress."

To explain the connection between story and resilience, the psychologists coined the term ‘intergenerational self.’ It's a sense that you're part of something bigger, that your life is an episode in a larger narrative. More than just entertain and amuse, (which they do) cross-generational stories serve another purpose.

Family stories let children know that they're not alone, and that those who came before them celebrated triumphs and overcame struggles, just as they do.

Additionally, in a study of family stories at Emory University, it was found that family stories seem to be transferred by mothers and grandmothers more often than not, and that the information was typically passed during family dinners, family vacations and family holidays. Other data indicated that these very same regular family dinners, vacations, and holiday celebrations occur more frequently in families that have high levels of cohesiveness. It is the ‘intergenerational self’ and the personal strength that is derived from it that are associated with increased resilience, better adjustment, and improved chances of good clinical and educational outcomes.

The researchers define three types of family narratives:

1. The ascending narrative: we came from nothing and now we've succeeded (rags to riches).

2. The descending narrative: we used to have it all and now we have nothing.

3. And, the most healthful narrative is called the oscillating family narrative: we've had ups and downs, and we've persevered, as a family.

This third narrative is the story of the Jewish people.

When we share stories - especially over holidays - year after year after year, we invite the next generation into the Jewish family story. Our stories are still unfolding.