Healing

“When will I be myself again?”

Some Tuesday, perhaps,

In the late afternoon,

Sitting quietly with a cup of tea

And a cookie;

Or Wednesday, same time or later,

You will stir from a nap and see her;

You will pick up the phone to call her;

You will hear her voice – unexpected advice –

And maybe argue.

And you will not be frightened,

And you will not be sad,

And you will not be alone,

Not alone at all,

And your tears will warm you.

But not today,

And not tomorrow,

And not tomorrow’s tomorrow,

But someday,

Some Tuesday, late in the afternoon,

Sitting quietly with a cup of tea

And a cookie

And you will be yourself again.

Shared by Bayit, Beside Still Waters 

May you feel relief from the pressures.

May the decision you make be based on joy, not fear.

May your interactions with others bring you happiness, as you see the holy spark inside everyone around you.

May you focus less on the differences between you and others, and more on the connections that bring us all together.

May you be kind to yourself, giving yourself the same chesed that you give to others.

The Blue Dove Foundation with Association of Reform Jewish Educators

May you find the strength to combat Anti-semitism and help provide the teaching of love to those who hate.

May you have the courage to stand up for your own beliefs.

Grant us the strength and resilience to support our loved ones.

May we acknowledge our own strength and resilience in persevering through hate.

May you remain safe in the face of those who wish you harm.

May you find others who share their experiences so they know they are not alone.

May we create communities that accept, uplift, and celebrate those among us.

The Blue Dove Foundation with Association of Reform Jewish Educators

To the One who blessed our ancestors and the

One who blesses all beings here on this earth,

bless all those who are suffering the grief of someone they loved.

May they find solace in their memory,

and may their love find a resting place in their hearts.

Bless all those who are struggling with the death

of someone with whom they had a difficult relationship.

May they find compassion for themselves and renewal of spirit.

May they have patience and strength, as grief can come in waves throughout their lives.

May they find the courage to share their grief with others, no matter how many years have gone by.

While they can be shattered by loss, they can be healed by love from others.

Sacred One, help them find ways to open their hearts to love and hope.

Bless all those who are grieving, for it is an honor to have lived.

Make both life and death a blessing.

Amen.

A prayer by the Blue Dove Foundation

We believe Jewish prayers and rituals can help to strengthen our mental well-being, resilience and recovery in the same way middot, or Jewish values, can promote them. Faith is an important part of healing for many, and Jewish thinkers and leaders historically have brought the two together. When someone is ill or recovering from illness or an accident, we often recite a misheberach to wish them a refuah sheleimah, or a “full recovery.” We have expanded the prayer for those who are struggling with mental health.

Mi Sheberach for Mental Health:

May the One who blessed our ancestors and named us Israel bless and heal those among us who struggle with mental well-being. May they acknowledge their own strength and resilience, treat themselves with forgiveness and patience, and find help, compassion, and resources when they need them. And, may the Holy One grant those of us who aren’t experiencing mental health issues the strength, resilience and capacity to listen without judgment and with intention, and the ability to notice when others are struggling. May we create communities that accept, uplift, and support those among us who are struggling. Now, speedily, and in a time soon to come. Amen.

The Blue Dove Foundation with Association of Reform Jewish Educators

Each year, the chairs around our seder table are filled with different individuals who join together to retell, once again, the story of our enslavement and our redemption. The Passover seder is more than a history lesson, for each of us is instructed to see ourselves as if we had personally been freed from Egypt. It has to become our own story, told in the context of the generations of our family and community. We add new layers as this year’s experience melds with the memories of the past.

Yet some years are painfully different. A beloved family member or friend has died during the past year. There is an empty chair at the seder table. We may find ourselves dreading the coming holiday. How can we go through the same rituals, when life has been so drastically altered? What if we begin to cry at the seder table? What if everyone is so afraid of pain that they ignore the empty chair? Are we even allowed to bring our sadness to the seder, which seems like it should be a happy occasion? Sometimes death changes family/ social relations and yours is also the empty chair at a seder. How do you find meaning in the holiday now?

Using the traditional structure and rituals of the seder service, as found in the Haggadah, below are ways that enable you to pay attention to your journey of grief. Each represents one step of the seder with teachings, comments and questions relating that Jewish ritual or prayer to the individual experience of memory, loss and healing.

Karpas | כַּרְפַּס
The First Dipping Hors d’oeuvres of Spring Greens:  Salt water represents our tears as slaves in Egypt. In my bereavement, as time goes by, what are s the sources of my tears? What makes me cry? Is there anything that still enslaves me to my tears? The karpas, a spring vegetable, represents renewal that comes in the springtime. As I move from grief and mourning into a different yet potentially full and renewed life what is growing in me and what comes alive in me again?

Yachatz | יַחַץ
Breaking the Matza:  This matza represents brokenness. As the matza is broken in half, the broken piece is set aside for the afikomen, which when found toward the end of the seder, symbolizes renewed wholeness and redemption. In my broken-heartedness, have there been paths of healing for me? In my brokenness, have I found places of greater strength within me? Can I imagine moving towards a new kind of wholeness?

Maggid | מַגִיד
Telling the Story:  One of the central mitzvot of Pesach is telling the story of oppression and the journey to liberation. It is interesting to note that the Haggadah offers us at least four versions of the Passover story. There is telling through symbols, historical recounting, moral expositions, and facts with expanded interpretations. What are some of the different ways in which you tell the stories of your loved one and the journey you took together?

Rachtza | רַחְצָה
Washing Before Eating Matza:  When we have been to a cemetery, it is customary to wash our hands before entering a building. It is a remnant of the Biblical idea that contact with the dead puts an individual into a different state. Purification by water is necessary prior to reentering the community. What rituals have been helpful to you in making the transition from focusing completely on your loved one and your loss, and being able to be more fully a part of your own changed life?

Birkat Hamazon – Barech | בָּרֵך
The Blessing after the Meal:  They who sow in tears, shall reap with joy. You have shed many tears since the death of your loved one. What are the blessings you received from your loved one which continue to nourish you? What are the blessings that have come into your life since your loss?

From: Coping with the Empty Chair at the Seder: A Personal Journal for Memory and Contemplation,

Prepared By Rabbi Stephanie Dickstein, LMSW, The Jewish Board