Remembrance

It’s customary to tear one’s garment or a ribbon at the funeral to signify who is in mourning. As we end the week of shiva, we take a moment to put that garment back together. Like our hearts in this moment, our garment will always bear the mark of its tearing, but with this intention, we begin the process of sewing ourselves together. 

Source of Wholeness, as I tore this garment when my

loved one died, so now I prepare to baste/sew the

tear back together.

This garment will never be the same as it was before

I tore it in the first expression of my shock and grief.

I don’t need a visible reminder of my loss. My life

will go on and it will never be the same without my

beloved.

This mending symbolizes that I put my trust in the One

Who Heals.

May each stitch bring acceptance. May each stitch bring

me closer to a sense of the Oneness of All.

-by Rabbi Janet Madden

—

Originally published in Laments & Kavannot for The Journey, produced for Kavod V’Nichum’s annual North America Chevra Kadisha Conference and shared with author’s permission.

Clip source: The Shomer Collective

When leaving a home where people are mourning, we offer words of comfort to remind the mourners they are not alone in their grief. 

People from Sephardi heritage traditionally say, “Min hashamayim tenachumu,” which means “May you be comforted by heaven.” And people from Ashkenazi heritage say, “Hamakom yenakhem etekhem betokh shaar avelay tziyon viyrushalayim,” which means, “May the Presence bring you comfort among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” 

Clip source: The Shomer Collective

Our first toast is to Yom Truah, the Day of Reawakening. “Truah!” shouts the shofar, blasting the alarm buried in your soul. The shofar wakes us up, and it amplifies our voices, making our prayers heard. Move in your body, stand in your power and be loud. 

Together, we raise a glass and make a Toast to Reawakening from Psalm 118: 

“From the narrowness of distress, I called to God; and God answered me with the breath of Divine relief. You have heard my voice; do not shut Your ear.”  

Blessing for Hearing the Shofar 

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha-olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu lishmoa kol shofar.

We praise You, Eternal God, Ruler of the universe, who has made us holy with commandments, and who has commanded us to hear the voice of the shofar.

Reflection Questions for Yom Truah - Day of Reawakening

When was I asleep in the past year? 

What do I want to be alert to in the year to come?

Baruch atah Adonai

Brucha at Shechina

Blessed One-ness

Bringing connection when there is separation,

Remembering joy even when we cannot.

One-ness,

We are blessed to be part of this holy wholeness

Even if we understand so little of it.

We are blessed to have received so much love,

Even when it is lost. 

And we pray for the strength to perceive the blessings

Even when it hurts so much.

Amen. 

We Remember Them

by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer

At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them.

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them.

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them.

At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them.

When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them.

When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them.

For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them.

 יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. בְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכוֹן וּבְיוֹמֵיכוֹן וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

 יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא

 יִתְבָּרֵךְ, וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח,וְיִתְפָּאֵר, וְיִתְרוֹמֵם, וְיִתְנַשֵּׂא, וְיִתְהַדָּר, וְיִתְעַלֶּה, וְיִתְהַלָּל, שְׁמֵהּ דְקֻדְשָׁא בְּרִיךְ הוּא. לְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא וְשִׁירָתָא,תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא, דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

יְהֵא שְׁלָמָה רבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְֹרָאֵל,וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

עשֶֹׁה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו הוּא יַעֲשֶֹה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשְֹרָאֵל וְעַל כָּל יוֺשְׁבֵי תֵבֶל, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן

Mourners: Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba b'alma di-v'ra chirutei, v'yamlich malchutei b'chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei d'chol beit yisrael, ba'agala uvizman kariv, v'im'ru: "amen."

Everyone: Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varach l'alam ul'almei almaya.

Mourners: Yitbarach v'yishtabach, v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam v'yitnaseh, v'yithadar v'yit'aleh v'yit'halal sh'mei d'kud'sha, b'rich hu, l'eila min-kol-birchata v'shirata, tushb'chata v'nechemata da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru: amen.

Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya v'chayim aleinu v'al-kol-yisrael, v'im'ru: amen.

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu v'al kol-yisrael, v'al kol-yoshvei teivel, v'imru: amen.

Mourners: May the Name that fills all names be blessed and strengthened in this created world.

May the Breath of Life that fills all breaths fill us with Life, and may it guide and rule our actions and visions, in our lives and in our time, now in this world, and in every moment to come.

And let us say:  Amen.

Everyone: May that great Name be blessed within us and in all worlds, for all time.

Mourners: May Holiness stream forth from its Source, full of blessing and beauty. May the Name that weaves all Life be blessed and praised, made beautiful and resplendent, lifted up and exalted, to the highest and most majestic. Blessed be! Beyond all the praises and blessings and songs and prayers that can ever be said in the whole world. And let us say:

Everyone:  Amen.

Mourners: May the Life and Love within us and between us be strengthened. May the Breath that fills all breaths fill the Cosmos with Peace, and may Peace and Life flow to us, to our community, to all peoples, and to all beings in this world. And let us say:

Everyone:  Amen. 

Mourners: The One who makes Peace in the furthest reaches of Creation will bring Peace to us and to all living beings. And let us say:

Everyone:  Amen.

Adapted from:  https://opensiddur.org/prayers/solilunar/everyday/kaddish/mourners-kaddish-for-a-minyan-of-ten-souls-including-jews-and-non-jews-by-rabbi-david-seidenberg-neohasid-org/