Forgiveness

Since the start of the month of Elul 30 days ago, our internal calculators have been in overdrive. Cheshbon haNefesh means an accounting of the soul, reflecting on a whole year of triumphs and mistakes and asking for forgiveness as we work to forgive others. We look backwards in order to move forward. 

Together, we make a toast to Recommitment, Judgment, Justice and Transparency, adapted from Rami M. Shapiro: 

"Today we stand before the Mirror of All, to see ourselves as we are. We come with no gifts, no bribes, no illusions, no excuses, no defenses. We come with error and needless pain, but also joy and remembered moments of love and right doing. Let us be bold enough to see, humble enough to feel, daring enough to turn and embrace the way of justice, mercy and simplicity."

Blessing to Pursue Justice:

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu ruach ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu lirdof tzedek.

We praise You, Eternal God, Spirit of the universe, who calls us to holiness through mitzvot, commanding us to pursue justice.

Reflection Questions for Yom HaDin - Day of Judgment

From whom do I need forgiveness? 

Who do I need to forgive?

As we enter a New Year without our loved one, our memories of them and the experiences we shared with them may begin to feel further away. This activity invites us into presence with our memories and creates a physical keepsake we can revisit. You may want to begin collecting memories during Rosh Hashanah, and continue adding to the jar throughout the year. 

To start, place a large jar, decorated box or vessel in a convenient location. Next, whenever you have a memory of your loved one, write it down on a slip of paper and place it in the jar. If a memory crosses your mind and you don’t have access to paper, record a voice memo or type it into your phone so you can transfer it to paper later. Your memories can be simple, such as a holiday tradition, your loved one’s favorite food, or of an adventure or experience you shared. 

Any time you wish to recall their lives, take a note from the jar. You can also revisit memories at the start of another New Year, when you say Yizkor or Kaddish, each time you visit their grave, or mark their birthday or yahrzeit. You can create a scrapbook with photos that correspond to the memories. You can read the notes together with other family members or friends and then share the story of the memory together. Or, invite several people to share stories at your Rosh Hashanah seder, Yom Kippur break fast or Sukkot gathering. 

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This ritual was adapted by Chloe Nassau, based on a creation from the Center for Loss & Renewal, Rabbi Benyamin Cirlin, LCSW

Then Moses and the Israelites sang this song to the LORD. They said: I will sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously; Horse and driver He has hurled into the sea.

The LORD is my strength and might; He is become my deliverance. This is my God and I will enshrine Him; The God of my father, and I will exalt Him.

The LORD, the Warrior— LORD is His name!

Pharaoh’s chariots and his army He has cast into the sea; And the pick of his officers Are drowned in the Sea of Reeds.

The deeps covered them; They went down into the depths like a stone.

Your right hand, O LORD, glorious in power, Your right hand, O LORD, shatters the foe!

In Your great triumph You break Your opponents; You send forth Your fury, it consumes them like straw.

At the blast of Your nostrils the waters piled up, The floods stood straight like a wall; The deeps froze in the heart of the sea.

The foe said, “I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; My desire shall have its fill of them. I will bare my sword— My hand shall subdue them.”

You made Your wind blow, the sea covered them; They sank like lead in the majestic waters.

Who is like You, O LORD, among the celestials; Who is like You, majestic in holiness, Awesome in splendor, working wonders!

You put out Your right hand, The earth swallowed them.

In Your love You lead the people You redeemed; In Your strength You guide them to Your holy abode.

The peoples hear, they tremble; Agony grips the dwellers in Philistia.

Now are the clans of Edom dismayed; The tribes of Moab—trembling grips them; All the dwellers in Canaan are aghast.

Terror and dread descend upon them; Through the might of Your arm they are still as stone— Till Your people cross over, O LORD, Till Your people cross whom You have ransomed.

You will bring them and plant them in Your own mountain, The place You made to dwell in, O LORD, The sanctuary, O LORD, which Your hands established.

The LORD will reign for ever and ever!

For the horses of Pharaoh, with his chariots and horsemen, went into the sea; and the LORD turned back on them the waters of the sea; but the Israelites marched on dry ground in the midst of the sea.

Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a timbrel in her hand, and all the women went out after her in dance with timbrels.

And Miriam chanted for them: Sing to the LORD, for He has triumphed gloriously; Horse and driver He has hurled into the sea.

Exodus 15:1-21