Tashlich

One challenge that many people face during a fertility journey is managing unwelcome questions and comments.   This Tashlich ritual offers you an opportunity to discard those comments and the painful residue they leave in your heart. For this ritual you will need a pen, paper, crackers/matzah/stale bread or dried leaves, body of water or a large bowl/bucket of water.  You may want to perform this ritual in a place that is peaceful, quiet, and free from distractions. 

During Tashlich, many have the practice of throwing pieces of bread or something from nature into the water in order to symbolically discard our sins and mistakes.  This ritual models the idea that there are things in our lives that we may want to throw away, both emotionally and physically, and that doing so offers us deep healing. 

During your fertility journey you may have unintentionally amassed a collection of comments.  Many people who mean well will make comments or ask questions that can be painful and alienating.  People may ask you how many kids you have. They may suggest that you not wait too long. They may laugh and say that you are lucky, since their kids are so challenging.  Some may even bluntly ask if you are pregnant.  Irrespective of how you reply when faced with these comments, these words may remain with you long after the person who said them has moved on.  

Just like the elements of our lives that we seek to discard during the Tashlich ritual, you may want  an opportunity to discard these comments, as they do not serve you or offer you support.  This ritual will provide you with an opportunity to do so.

Begin this ritual by writing for yourself a list of as many of these comments as you can remember.  

Once you have your list, take a box of matzah, crackers, stale bread, or dried leaves and go to a body of water.  If you are not able to get to a body of water, feel free to do this in a large bowl or bucket of water.  Read the first item off your list, and as you do so, take a cracker/a piece of matzah/stale bread/dried leaf in your hand, and crush it into tiny crumbs.  Dust or throw those crumbs into the water. That comment is gone and is no longer something that needs to impact you and your wellbeing. Repeat this action for each comment on your list. 

Although this ritual is framed in connection to Tashlich, you are welcome to use it anytime.  Even if you just receive one unwelcome comment or question, and you feel it weighing on you, take a cracker or leaf, crush that comment and send it away. 

The comments and questions we receive can feel powerful, but in truth they are only as powerful as we allow them to be.  Feel free to  use this ritual, or any other method that helps you, to remove these comments for your consciousness. In place of these painful comments, allow your heart to fill with comments that nourish and support you, and questions that are abundantly compassionate. 

I’ve spoken to several people recently who don’t plan to attend synagogue services on Rosh Hashanah, but who want to find meaningful ways to celebrate the holiday. And I know others who do go to synagogue, but who are looking for additional ways to enhance their celebration of the day. So here are some ideas for celebrating Rosh Hashanah outside of a synagogue, regardless of whether or not you also attend services:

1. Have a Rosh Hashanah Seder: You don’t have to wait for Passover to have a seder. In fact, many Sephardic and Mizrahi Jews have a seder on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. This seder, which has its origins in the Talmud, is called a Seder Yehi Ratzon (“seder of God’s will”), and just like the Passover seder, it has foods which are invested with meaning. Each food symbolizes a wish for the year ahead, and a special blessing is recited before eating each food. As explained on the My Jewish Learning website: “With each blessing, the mundane aspect of food is garnished with a sense of holiness, poignancy, and even humor.” To learn about the foods and blessings that are part of the Rosh Hashanah seder, click here or here.

Read more at 18Doors.

By Rabbi Richard Israel

Some suggested tips for properly executing  tashlikh  (casting of sins into the waters. . . )

For ordinary sins, use – White bread
For exotic sins – French or Italian bread
For dark sins – Pumpernickel
For complex sins – Multigrain bread
For truly warped sins – Pretzels
For sins of indecision – Waffles
For sins committed in haste –  Matzah
For substance abuse – Poppy seed rolls
For committing arson – Toast
For being ill-tempered – Sourdough bread
For silliness – Nut bread
For not giving full value – Shortbread
For political chauvinism – Yankee Doodles
For excessive use of irony – Rye bread
For continual bad jokes – Corn bread
For hardening our hearts – Jelly doughnuts
For excessive curiosity – Wonder Bread
For speed-limit violations – Russian bread
For usury – dough

Source: https://www.ritualwell.org/ritual/tashlikh-tidbits

We Dance Around The Shul
By Trisha Arlin

Our Torah is old.
The blue velvet cover
And the silver plate that hangs over the velvet
Are both covered in names
Of donors long gone,
And their honored loved ones, gone even longer.
These names mean nothing to us:
We ignore them
On Shabbat
When we dance around the shul.

On Selichot we put aside the old velvet
And dressed our Torah in fresh white covers,  
only a year old,
Donated by a beloved member,
Amina.
She died this year, four days before Rosh HaShanah.
Tonight it’s Simkhat Torah.
So we now take off Amina’s white cover
And put on the old one,
Blue, embroidered with strangers' names. 
Then we will dance around the shul.

We will think of Amina every year at this time 
From now on 
Until none of us are around,
Until there is no one who remembers her, 
Or us.
Then others will carry this scroll with the white cover
Donated by a Jew they never knew,
While they dance around the shul.

We give thanks for the ancient traditions, 
Telling the story even when we can’t, 
Keeping our loved ones’ memories 

And giving us Torah from the beginning, every year.