Secular-Friendly Mourners' Kaddish Translation by Rabbi David Cooper

There is an eternal essence that persists in time and space —
and this is our prayer to make it part of our awareness 
by affirming its persistence and pledging ourselves 
to act to advance the promise it holds of a better world; 
may it be soon and in our days. Amen.

Let the great essence be blessed through all our actions!

Whether it be blessed or praised or honored or exalted, 
we affirm that it is far beyond any expression which we use to describe it — 
prayer or song, prose or poem — and we say: Amen

We express our hopes for peace and for life upon us and upon all people. Amen.

May the harmony we experience as we gaze toward heaven 
be reflected in a harmony between all who dwell on the planet: 
Israelite, Ishmaelite, and all creatures upon this holy earth, and we say: Amen.
 

From: Beside Still Waters, available for download and purchase.  

In memory of Roberta and Michael Laric z”l 

Aharon was silent in the face of death.

Sometimes there are no words

And sometimes words are all we have

To communicate

To commiserate

To comfort.

HaMakom yenachem etchem btoch sh’ar aveilei tzion v'yerushalayim

“May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion

And Jerusalem”

Falls so short

And yet the very formula

Grants grace

Giving us words to fill the silence

Linking our discomfort to the discomfort of ages

And ages of comforters

Standing at graveside

Sitting at shiva

Wishing we could do more.

Sometimes there are no words

And sometimes words are all we have

That and a hand on a shoulder

A tear in the throat

A heart overflowing

And the promise to come

When everyone else has left

So, though bereft,

The mourner is not abandoned. 

-by Rabbi Susan Grossman

—

© Copyright. Rabbi Susan Grossman, 2022. Shared with author’s permission. 

May our lives reflect 
the Greatness of the Divine Name
throughout the world, 
sparks within the Process of Creation.

May the world be guided 
by our highest aspirations, soon, in our lifetimes.
And let us say, Amen.

May the Divine Name be known as a Fountain of Blessings:
praised, honored, beautified, elevated, and exalted
beyond any song or description that has ever been uttered.
And let us say, Amen.

May an all-embracing peace shower down from the heavens, refreshing the lives of all 
the people on earth.
And let us say, Amen.

May the Source of Peace inspire us to make peace for ourselves,
for our community,
and for all the people on earth. And let us say, Amen.

Though this ritual is designed to be done in advance of the soul accounting we do on Yom Kippur, it may be used at any time of the year to reflect on your mortality and prepare for having these end-of-life conversations. You can complete one or more of the seven questions below, as you wish. 

Keep revisiting and revising until you feel it truly reflects your thoughts and feelings. Consider if and when it fits into your Jewish New Year preparations, or if it makes sense at another time of reflection, such as after receiving a diagnosis, reaching a new decade or confronting one’s mortality. 

Whenever you choose to write this letter, review it each year and update as needed. And remember, this can be sensitive and emotional work. Please proceed with caution.

Annual Life Review Task 1: Acknowledging Relationships Think about the people who have figured prominently in your life in the last year. What are their names?

Annual Life Review Task 2: Remembering Key Moments Recall meaningful moments in your life that occurred in the last year. Can you describe them? 

Annual Life Review Task 3: Asking for Forgiveness Write the names of the people who you may have hurt in the last year. Use this opportunity to consider how and when you may ask for their forgiveness.

Annual Life Review Task 4: Forgiving Others or Moving Through the Hurt Write the names of the people who have hurt you in the last year. Consider how and when to forgive or move through the hurt.

Annual Life Review Task 5: Saying "Thank You" Write the names of the people in your life you wish to thank based on your life over the last year. Use this opportunity to identify what they did for you, why you are thankful, and how and when you want to express your gratitude.

Annual Life Review Task 6: Saying "I Love You" Write the names of the people in your life for whom you have felt love in the last year. How and when might you express this love to them ahead of the new year?

Annual Life Review Task 7: Saying "Goodbye" What or who do you want to say goodbye to based on your life in the last year? Consider what or who you would like to let go from the past year.

Clip source: The Shomer Collective